Personal Development and Self Improvement» relationships

How to Break the Cycle of Anxiety and Enjoy Social Situations

blogadmin — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 15:12:02 +0000

Photo by Paulo BrandãoMost people have felt social anxiety at some point in their lives. It can be intimidating to be in situations that include many unfamiliar people. It can be even more intimidating if you’re shy by nature.

Social anxiety can be overcome, though. Everyone’s personality is different, but you can change the way you respond socially no matter what your personality is like. With a little effort in the right strategies, you’ll be more at ease at the next party or meeting you attend.

Try these tips and guidelines to help you to break your cycle of social anxiety:

Practice makes perfect. If your social interactions are few and far between, you limit your chances of success in these situations. Instead of avoiding social situations, start by seeking small, less intimidating opportunities to practice social interaction.
Be yourself. Remember that people generally want to get to know the real you. Most people you meet will be just as nervous as you are. Make others feel at ease by being yourself and asking questions about the other person. As they open up to you and the conversation gets rolling, you’ll feel more and more comfortable.
- Remember that people are less concerned about your flaws than you are. Social situations can be overwhelming when you try really hard to be perfect. Sometimes you’ll make mistakes. Even embarrassing mistakes can cause you and those around you to feel at ease if you learn to laugh at yourself. And, most people will understand if you make a mistake. They’re just as intimidated.
Talk it out. Discuss your struggles with a trusted friend or loved one. Talk about the issues you have and ask for help if necessary. If your social fears run deep, consider seeking professional advice. It’s much better to take steps now to overcome your fears than to miss out on all that life has to offer while you sit on the sidelines.
Look on the bright side. Try to see the good in every situation you face. If you’re in a social situation that you’re afraid of, face your fears head-on. Chances are that you can find something about the situation that makes you smile. Once you get into the swing of things, your fears will shrink.
Take steps to relax. If you start to panic, take steps to relax yourself. Excuse yourself for a few moments alone. Take a few slow, deep breaths from your belly. Continue breathing slowly and deeply as you return to the social situation. You’ll feel confident and more in control when you breathe deeply.
Join a group or club. Groups and clubs are great places to practice social interaction with others who share the same interests that you do. Many groups exist, and you’re sure to find one or more that cater to an activity or subject matter you’re passionate about. This makes conversations easy as well.

Remember that your attitude and will to change makes all the difference. Get off the sidelines, pick a social situation you’d normally avoid, and use these strategies to overcome your fears. Turn social situations into opportunities to learn, grow, and experience all that life has to offer.

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The Power of Common Courtesy

blogadmin — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 13:18:50 +0000

Photo by 2-Dog-FarmAre you easily frustrated with the way others treat you? Do you scream when you’re cut off in traffic, or seethe when someone checks out at a grocery store with 11 items in the 10 items or less lane?

Lack of consideration can cause frustration for you, but it can also remind you to do your part in making the lives of others around you better. When you do, you’ll feel better about yourself and you’ll feel far less frustrated about the things going on around you.

Common courtesy has the power to lift your mood and make those around you happier at the same time.

Do your part to make someone smile by offering common courtesy. It’s simple and requires no investment of time or money on your part, just a little respect and consideration!

By putting others ahead of yourself in small ways, you can experience a powerful connection with the people around you. And it all begins with common courtesy!

Please and Thank You

If you develop the habit of saying please and thank you, you’ll experience amazing benefits in all of your relationships. This is a simple way to show you care and that you appreciate the things people do for you. Your spouse will feel more loved. Your children will learn that you value them. The cashier at the grocery store will feel appreciated.

Instead of demanding what you want, ask in a calm tone of voice and say please. When someone does something for you, say thank you. These small changes don’t cost anything, but these words have the power to revolutionize your relationships.

Let Someone in Ahead of You While Driving.

Want an easy way to put yourself in a good frame of mind on your way to and from work? Leave the house a few minutes early. Look for an opportunity to let someone in ahead of you at a traffic light on the way. You’ll put a smile on their face and feel less frazzled at the same time.

Put some pleasing music on the radio and relax! When you see someone attempting to get into your lane, ease up on the gas pedal and give them some room to get in. You’ll still get there on time, but you’ll feel less stressed because of your new attitude.

Let the Other Person Speak

In conversation, you likely spend the majority of the time thinking about what you’re going to say next. As a result, you may end up interrupting or creating resentment in the other person and failing to hear most of what they’re saying.

Instead, let the other person speak without interrupting them. After they’re finished, ensure you understand what they’ve told you before you proceed. In addition to avoiding frustration and hurt feelings, you’ll often solve problems in less time by reducing misunderstandings.

With a few small steps, you can feel good about yourself and your contribution to the happiness of the people around you. In addition, common courtesy has the power to shift your focus from yourself to others. When you focus on others, you’ll feel a greater sense of happiness and self-confidence as a result.

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Good Partnerships Are Based on Building Trust

blogadmin — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 15:25:01 +0000

Photo by PaDumBumPshTrust is a very important part of any personal or business relationship. Without trust, an air of suspicion always clouds the relationship. Trust is the glue that holds any worthwhile relationship together. Fortunately, you can choose actions that build trust.

Each relationship is different. The steps for establishing trust for a romantic relationship are very different than for a business relationship. But all relationships have certain things in common. Your actions speak louder than anything you say, so ensure that your actions are honorable and match what you say you’ll do.

Trust in a Nutshell

The basics of trust are the same in every type of relationship. In short, you should:

Always tell the truth.

Be kind to people.

Do what you say you’ll do.

Keep your promises.

Only take on what you’re capable of handling.

Recognize people by communicating your appreciation for them.

If you keep these important principles in mind, you can build trust in any relationship. A good partnership has to have trust to exist. Whether you’re asking someone for a date or forming a new business venture, confidence in each other is vital for success.

Most People Are Trustworthy

Your gut feelings can overwhelm you, especially if you have a suspicious nature. Feelings of suspicion can suppress your ability to love in romantic relationships and to conduct business effectively in business relationships.

Most people can generally be trusted. They can be great friends and partners if you’re willing to give them the opportunity to demonstrate their trustworthiness.

Some people need a second chance, too. Everyone messes up at some point. Whether that person deserves a second chance or not depends on a number of factors. Has the person taken steps to rectify the breach of trust? What is the nature of your relationship?

When someone tells you they’re sorry, can you believe them? Perhaps. Do you feel they’ve changed their ways so it won’t happen again? You must trust your basic instincts to decide whether you believe they’re telling you the truth and have intentions to follow up accordingly. Also, feeling sorry is one thing, while changing their ways is another thing altogether.

If you break someone’s trust, apologize quickly. Make a commitment to rebuilding the trust. Then do whatever you can to make amends for your error and be certain that it doesn’t happen again.

The seriousness of any breach of trust depends on the perception of the person who feels his trust was violated. If that’s you, whether that person is worth a second chance or not is something only you can decide. Trust is a serious issue and it’s also very personal.

To give your relationships the best chance of success, make a commitment today to keep your word and honor your promises. Trust determines your chances of success in every type of relationship you experience. Strive to be the kind of person that can always be counted on, and your relationships will thrive as a result.

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How to Avoid Relationships that Sap Your Soul

blogadmin — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:57:12 +0000

It’s easy to get drawn into a negative relationship. It may have started out seemingly perfect, but things seemed to change overnight. It may be time to decide whether or not the positive attributes outweigh the negative ones when it comes to your relationship choices.
Photo by WTL photos

If you’re unhappy and emotionally drained after a break up, you might not be feeling too optimistic about throwing yourself back out there. However, opening yourself up to new opportunities is the only way you’re going to reach the happiness you seek.

The best thing you can do is to educate yourself well enough to know what to look for and what to avoid. It’s not a fail-proof plan, but by following certain strategies, you can increase your chances of a lasting relationship.

Try taking these actions to avoid negative relationships:

Avoid falling back on the wrong person. If you’re feeling particularly lonely, you may feel the urge to fall back on someone that’s not right for you. Deep down you know that this person is not “the one” and yet you come crawling back anyway trying to convince yourself that maybe the person can change. Chances are, they won’t.
Spend time getting to know your partner. Focus on getting to know your partner first before getting too serious in the relationship. Try to have some of the heavy conversations near the beginning of the relationship. This way if you hit major snags you can either decide to work through it or move on quickly.
Learn your partner’s history. Are there disturbing events in his or her past? It’s clearly best to avoid people who have a history of violence or intense addiction. If they do and you choose to proceed with the relationship, be extra cautious and set the ground rules from the beginning.
Avoid manipulative people. You might not realize it at first, but if you find that you’re being manipulated often, it can prove to be a serious drain on your relationship. If your partner is controlling and always has a selfish motive for their actions, it isn’t the best relationship to be in. Recognize these red flags when you see them and get out before you get too attached.
Make a checklist. Take some time to make a list of the qualities you’d like to see in a partner. Include qualities you like as well as qualities that you dislike. This checklist will help you determine whether the relationship is right for you. Here’s a tip: avoid writing down superficial characteristics such as looks. First and foremost, you must be attracted to his or her personality because the superficial things can and will change as you age.

Relationships can be difficult; it’s just a reality of human nature. The fact that many relationships end shouldn’t have any impact on your hope for the future. There are plenty of people out there that will be a good match, so it’s okay to avoid relationships that sap your soul.

Remember: you do have a choice! Focus on finding the right partner for you and then take action to make it the positive relationship you’ve always dreamed of!

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5 Ways to Nurture a Positive Relationship

blogadmin — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 15:02:37 +0000

A positive relationship can be one of the most wonderful things in the world, while a negative one can turn your life into a disaster!

Do you yearn to cultivate a positive relationship with your partner and help it grow stronger? Having a positive relationship takes effort from both of you, but you can get it started. Your partner will surely enjoy the benefits and follow your lead.

Here are five important techniques you can use to nurture your relationship:

Give 100%. First and foremost, if you want to build a relationship that’s positive, passionate, and withstanding, you need to give 100% of yourself. This is one of the most important things for success, not only in your relationships, but life in general.
- There’s no “50/50″ when it comes to giving in a relationship. You’ve got to give freely of yourself if it’s going to work. It’s almost impossible to receive from your partner if you don’t give in return.
- Remember the golden rule. When you fully give of yourself, the other person will see the effort you’re making and soon begin to reciprocate with the same type of behavior.
Focus on loving your partner. In nurturing a positive relationship, your main focus should be on simply loving your partner. Show your love in both your words and actions, in all you say and do.
- The expression “actions speak louder than words,” is definitely true when it comes to a relationship. However, your partner still wants to hear you say, “I love you.”?
- Be generous with compliments and mean what you say.
Use charitable acts. The things you do for your partner make a difference in your relationship. When you love someone, acts of kindness toward him or her come naturally.
- No action should be done just because you feel obligated to do it. The things you do for your partner should be done because you want to do them.?
- Remember, your actions are more important than your words, so use them to help build up a relationship that’s naturally positive.
Respect your partner. Always respect your partner in every way to build a lasting and positive relationship with them. Respect is an important building block of any relationship.
- Respect your partner not only in a physical sense, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well.
- Build a strong friendship. Your romantic relationship needs to have the stability and deep roots that come from a strong friendship. With a meaningful friendship as its basis, your relationship becomes stronger and more lasting.
- When you work hard to construct a strong friendship, you can be assured that your relationship is ready to weather whatever life may throw at you in the future.

If your goal is to create a stronger bond with your partner, take the time to think about what it is you’d like from your partner. Give those things to your partner, and you’ll almost always find the answers you seek about how to create a nurturing relationship.

Following these five steps can have a positive impact on any relationship. Once you begin taking care of your relationship and making a conscious effort to improve it, you’ll see a stronger, more positive bond flourishing before your eyes.

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