Personal Development and Self Improvement» communication skills

I know when to speak and when to keep quiet.

blogadmin — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 15:16:03 +0000

Photo by LIVING_BY_THE_MOMENTI am mastering the art of knowing when to speak and when to keep quiet. There are times when I must speak out on my behalf or that of someone else, but there are also times when it is best to be silent.

Communication skills are important in every area: my family, work, friends, and even strangers. My communication skills improve with every interaction.

To decipher whether I need to be quiet or speak, I am learning to read the other person. If the person with whom I am speaking with is angry, it is often best for me to keep a cool head so I will be free from regret.

When I am socializing with my friends, it is important for me to speak and keep my friends engaged. At the same time, I must take turns so we all can share our stories.

When others speak, I listen intently. I focus on listening and waiting my turn instead of planning what I will say next. I allow others to have a conversation with me without cutting them off.

I bite my tongue and abstain from speaking when I genuinely have nothing good to say. My goal is to lift others up; therefore, I simply refrain from commenting when I am unable to encourage. Being silent is better than being untrue.

Today, I choose to listen to what others have to say and refrain from interrupting them while they speak.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. How can I be a better listener?
2. Do I interrupt others when they speak?
3. What can I say to build others up?

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How to Be a Better Communicator

blogadmin — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 15:54:46 +0000

Communication is the key when it comes to anything that involves collaboration. Since humans are a social species, communication is involved in nearly everything you do.

Some people are born with the natural ability to communicate well, while others may struggle with it. No matter what category you fall into, it’s likely that you can benefit from paying attention to improving your communication skills.

Why Better Communication Helps You

Did you know that most businesses consider your communication skills to be the most important characteristic about you? This means that you could have top-notch knowledge and job skills but still fail to land a job if you’re lacking in the communication department.

Communication is certainly not only important when it comes to your work life, but it’s also vital in having a successful home life as well. Couples and family members that are good communicators lead happier lives overall.

Proper communication will prevent misunderstandings and save you time so you won’t have to go back and explain yourself again and again. You know you’ve gained good communication skills when you can communicate your thoughts effectively with as few words as necessary!

How To Improve Communication With Others

Communication is a two way street. This means that you could have excellent skills, but if the recipient is lacking, then you may not be understood. This is why it’s important not only to develop our speaking skills, but our listening skills, too.

Since you can’t affect the skill level of others, the only thing you can do is strengthen your own communication skills. Besides, when you’re an excellent communicator, more people will understand you, everything around you will run more efficiently, and you’ll more often get what you want!

Try these strategies to improve your communication skills:

Avoid arguing. If you run into a snag in a conversation and it starts to morph into an argument, step back and realize what’s going on. It’s easy to get swept up into the blame game, but ultimately it’s not important who’s at fault. What’s important is the mutual understanding of the issue at hand and a desire for a solution that benefits everyone.
Don’t be afraid to compromise. You may be tempted to try and “win” but that’s not the best way to reach a mutual agreement. You may be happier with getting your way, but it may come at the expense of the other person, which can cause further issues. Find a good compromise that you both can willingly accept.
Work on listening. Your listening skills are even more important than your speaking skills. After all, how will you know what you should say – and when – if you haven’t effectively listened? Listen more than you speak and you’ll gain a profound wisdom of others, too!
Keep your focus. Communication will get overly complicated if you worry about too many issues at once. Avoid bringing up the past or other issues and, instead, focus on the one topic at hand.
Stay calm and take responsibility. Adopt a calm and cool manner of handling situations. When things remain low key, it’s easier to communicate and get your point across. This also means that you need to take responsibility for what you say. Don’t be afraid to admit mistakes when you’re wrong.

Becoming a better communicator doesn’t happen overnight. But if you keep practicing and tweaking your skills, you’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish.

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How to Grow a Backbone

blogadmin — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:56:26 +0000

Do you feel as if everyone is taking advantage of your good nature? Do you think they would still do it if you were more assertive?

Becoming more assertive is a goal that many of us want to achieve. We feel disrespected and we want to be able to stand our ground without guilt or fear. Developing a backbone is not an easy task, but it can be accomplished if you’re committed to it.

Here are some simple tips that will enable you to strengthen your assertiveness as quickly as possible:

Stop apologizing. Many of us use the term “I’m sorry” far too frequently and often at inappropriate times. Think about when you use those two simple words. Is it in a situation that you truly should be sorry for?
- Once you’re able to stop apologizing for every little thing, you’ll become more assertive. Learn to differentiate between when there’s a need to apologize and when there isn’t.
- Hitting someone’s cart in a grocery store because you weren’t looking warrants an apology.?
- Drinking the last cup of orange juice before your spouse is not a situation that warrants an “I’m sorry.” ?
- If you’re watching television and your child prefers to sit in the chair you’re sitting in, “I’m sorry” isn’t appropriate.
Speak up. Tell those around you what you need. Assertiveness requires good communication skills. Be clear and firm with what you desire. Practice standing up for yourself by conveying your wants and desires to others.
- There’s no need to be aggressive or nasty. Simply communicate that you have thoughts, opinions and needs, too. Once you begin to express these better, the people around you will learn how to appreciate and respect you more, too.
- If you want to develop a backbone, this isn’t the time to be a mouse and stand in the corner. Voice your opinion and be proud of what you have to say; people will take notice and listen.
Be committed and patient. It’s wonderful that you’ve decided to make positive changes in your life. It’s something that you should be proud of! Unfortunately though, a complete transformation won’t occur overnight. You’ve entered into a journey, and you must be willing to stick it out!
- You’ll experience good and bad days, but you mustn’t give up. As long as you remain committed and patient, you’ll succeed in what you’re trying to accomplish.
- Focus on the big picture down the road and imagine how much your life will improve once you’re able to stand up for yourself.
Work on your body language. Body language is extremely important in any situation. When trying to become more assertive, your body language must reflect this as well.
- Stand straight, speak up, make sure your hands aren’t crossed over your chest, and maintain eye contact with whomever you’re speaking with.
- If you look assertive, people will perceive you as such. If you keep your eyes on the floor, have your hands across your chest, or mumble incoherently, you’ll have trouble to get your point across.

Assertiveness can help you in your personal life, career, family, and many other areas. Though it may take a bit of time, as long as you make positive steps to grow your new backbone, it will be there before you know it!

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I am open to managing all situations swiftly and effectively.

blogadmin — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 15:35:44 +0000

Every day of our lives, things just come up and we need to deal with them. I choose to manage these situations promptly in the best way I know how. I have several strategies I can rely on to help me assess and handle these distractions of the day.

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Van Buren

First of all, I can reduce the stress of any situation by stopping for a moment to breathe and collect my thoughts. What do I know about the situation without making assumptions? Seeing it for what it is usually makes it more manageable.

I refuse to over-dramatize the situation and ask a million “What Ifs” that can lead to unnecessary worry. If prompt action is required, such as in an emergency, I immediately do what I can to help or diffuse the situation.

If the situation is caused by miscommunication, I use my communication skills to calm others and clarify all sides of the issue. If a conflict is involved, I use my negotiating skills and creativity to help find a solution that is good for all.

Sometimes I can handle a situation by simply delegating it to someone else. This is especially true in the workplace when work areas are specifically divided and assigned to certain people. If it does not apply to me, I do not get involved. Instead, I let others handle it.

These strategies reduce the confusion in my life and help me deal effectively with situations when they arise. I know that the quicker I can handle challenging circumstances, the faster I can get back to my regular schedule and doing what I want to do for the day.

Today, I plan to use my skills and creativity to handle unexpected situations quickly and to the best of my ability.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I panic when an unforeseen situation arises?
2. What skills can I rely on to manage unexpected situations?
3. Do I try to solve everything for everybody, or stay out of it when it doesn’t apply to me?

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I am emotionally prepared for any challenge.

blogadmin — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 13:34:15 +0000

Life can throw at me what it will, but I know I can handle it because I am in charge of my emotions. I gratefully accept all emotions, good and not so good, because the entire spectrum of emotions is part of my wonderful human heritage.

When I have positive emotions, like joy and happiness, I allow myself to thoroughly enjoy them and I let the good feelings spill over into every area of my life.

When I experience uncomfortable emotions, like anger or sadness, I acknowledge the emotions and then deal with them in positive ways.

The first thing I do is take a step back to give myself a moment of thought. I try to see the situation from all perspectives and then use my mental tools to help me effectively deal with negative emotions.

For example, one of my most valuable tools is my positive outlook on life. I believe everything happens for a good reason. Sometimes it just takes a while to see it.

If I am feeling upset, I look for the silver lining. Surely something good must be in the situation, waiting for me to discover it! Once I discover what is good, another one of my positivity tools – gratitude – takes over and I can give thanks for it.

The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it. - Al Batt

Another useful tool, my excellent communication skills, can solve many of life’s emotional challenges. Just think of how many negative emotions are due to miscommunication! When I clarify the situation, the negative emotions dissipate.

Today, I plan to make full use of my positivity toolbox to handle any emotional challenges that arise. I know with certainty that I am emotionally prepared for any challenge.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I give in to negative emotions, like anger, and totally lose my cool?
2. What tools can I use to help me meet emotional challenges?
3. Do I acknowledge my negative emotions, or try to bury them?

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